Saturday, July 11, 2009
MeltDown.
I thought going to work would keep my mind off about my mother dead from 4 years ago. Tomorrow is her 5th year, at work i had a huge melt down with my manager. I whole it in so long no one at work knew i lost a mother 4 years ago. I had to share with someone my eyes were red. I couldn't stop crying and now I am still. I felt bad for sharing to my manager and made her cry, she also told me how her father died. For peoples that are out there please Cherish your parents because you never know when they gonna step out your life. I'm very close with my mother she was like a best friend. I hear allot of people telling me how they don't get along with their parents, no matter what they done to you or whatever they still your parents. Not only that if it wasn't for them you wouldn't be here in this world.
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girl, i know what you mean about the breakdowns here and there because you just miss them so much and you cry and cry because it does make you will better. girl, sometimes i wake up at 3-4am and just burst out crying because it's weird i have these dreams of her sometimes. honestly, i know i try to lie to myself at times, but other times i do try to understand. it's weird, i use to ALWAYS, like everyday, have dreams of my Mom. ..in my dreams she would always be trying to say to me to accept or don't be sad. You know eversince I tried to tell myself "hey, i know she wouldn't want me to be this sad" and tried to accept.. .I stopped having those dreams. Sometimes though, I do miss those dreams because at least in my dreams I get to talk to her and tell her how much I love and miss her.
ReplyDeleteActually I have a younger sister n older sister here, but I am the ONLY one that lives with my Dad. i do have a GREAT relationship with my older sis tho, she's there for me financially more than my dad. sometimes my dad makes me feel like a burden and stuff. he wants to live in the philippines so bad, but he stays here just for me. though i dont have a great relationship with my dad, we try, i try because he is the only one i have left and no matter what i do love my dad and I am thankful for the good comfortable home/life he gives me. I can't really complain because even if I work, I dont pay anything but my phone, car insurance and my stuff.
also like you, i dont like opening much to people. a lot of my coworkers dont even know I dont have my mom anymore and they make jokes like "your mom" and it hurts my feelngs too =/
hey girl, weird part is like you my Dad got a girlfriend not too long after my Mom passed away. So we are pretty much on the same boat, but maybe i have it worst that you because I'm 22 and my Dad's gf is 22! Mind you my oldest sibling is 31, which makes this whole thing pretty sick. I'm very disgusted by it and I've told my Dad to be careful because she is just using him, but he says he is lonely and what can I do? As disgusted as I am, as angry as I am about the situation I have accepted it just because I dont want him to be lonely. It's also pretty sad and it makes me mad because some girl back in the Philippines is using my Dad. Yes, she probably just wants to get petition and stuff, my Dad also goes there once or twice a year to visit her. I also know my Dad sends her a little bit of money and it makes me sick because he doesnt give me a penny and also because my older sister pays all his bills to help him, yet he waste his money on some btch!
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